4 Generations ~ Robert Graham

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: 2020 Week 6 (SAME NAME)



I never knew my maternal grandfather when I was growing up. He made a brief appearance to walk my mother down the aisle, and then disappeared from mom's family right after. 

My mom and her dad

He had been in and out of their life for many years, but after mom's wedding he never returned. Years later when his mom was dying my mom and her sisters went to see their grandmother. They ended up seeing their dad during that visit, but I wasn't there so never saw John Robert Graham who was known as Jacky as a child & Jack as an adult. 

Jack and his dad (Robert the 4th)

I asked my grandmother what Jack's father's name was, and she told me Bob who was also known as Bobby. I asked her if Bob was his legal name. She said it was. I asked her where Bob was born, and she told me Manitoba. I had entered these details into my tree on Ancestry, but no hints arrived. I waited several months, and did searches without finding any real information. I finally sent away for my great grandparent's marriage license. When it arrived I discovered Bob's legal name was Robert, and he had been born in Scotland and moved to Manitoba as a small child. 

There was a witness who shared his last name. I guessed she was his sister. I added the new information, and immediately the desired shaking green leaves appeared. I began researching the family line using records. I managed to track back 4 generations of Robert Grahams before I hit the brickwall that still stands today.


4 generations of ROBERT GRAHAM!

Robert (Bob/Bobby) Graham (the 4th)
BIRTH 3 MAY 1906 • Holytown, Lanarkshire, Scotland
DEATH 10 AUGUST 1960 • Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
married
Nellie May (Con) Cannon
BIRTH 4 DEC 1904 • Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
DEATH 14 SEP 1984 • Burnaby, British Columbia, Canada

Robert Graham (the 3rd)
BIRTH 23 DEC 1883 • Carluke, Lanarkshire, Scotland
DEATH 13 JAN 1929 • St Boniface Hospital, Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
married
Jessie Crawford Gray
BIRTH 23 JUN 1884 • Wishaw, Lanarkshire, Scotland
DEATH 17 JUL 1952 • Manitoba, Canada

Robert (the 3rd) & Jessie Crawford (nee Gray) Graham

Robert Graham (the 2nd)
BIRTH ABT 1851 • Lesmahagow, Lanarkshire
DEATH BEF 1905 • Scotland, United Kingdom
married
Margaret (Maggie) (Mary) Burt
BIRTH 19 APR 1854 • Cambusnethan, Lanarkshire

DEATH 14 JUL 1933 • 61 Church St, Newharthill, Scotland
Robert Graham (the 1st)
BIRTH 16 JAN 1814 • Thornhill, Closeburn, Dumfries-shire, Scotland
DEATH 24 MAR 1892 • Forth, Lanarkshire, Scotland
married
Susanah (Susan) Hamilton
BIRTH 03 NOV 1814 • Carnwath, Lanarkshire
DEATH 11 APR 1894 • Forth, Lanarkshire, Scotland

Robert Graham (the 1st) was the child of 
Peter Graham
BIRTH ABT 1788 • Closeburn, Dumfriesshire
DEATH Unknown
&
Ann Kirk
BIRTH ABT 1785
DEATH Unknown

Peter Graham and Ann Kirk are my 5th great grandparents. I have DNA matches that confirm them as the parent of Robert Graham. They are listed as parents on birth registries for 4 children, but those are the only records I can find - no birth, no marriage, no death.


I have made no progress in breaking down this brickwall in the past 7 years of researching. In my tree I have guessed that Robert's parents might be James & Elizabeth, and Ann's might be Robert & Mary. I have made those guesses based on Scottish naming patterns, and have noted that in the placeholders for them. My guesses may be way off because I don't know if I have found all of the children of their marriage. I do know that later generations did follow Scottish naming patterns, but I don't know if Peter & Ann (nee Kirk) Graham did.


Someday I may break through this brickwall.

*******

Jessie Crawford (nee Gray) Graham
with her sons: Bob,  Bill, Doug, Burt

Now back to Robert the 4th's son Jack - my grandfather.

I understood Jack didn't spend much time with his dad's family after his parent's separated and divorced August 19th 1948.

Winnipeg Free Press, Manitoba, Canada, August 20th 1948

The divorce notice above says that Nellie and Bob were married on May 5th 1943, but the marriage record is dated November 16th 1927. Their son, Jack, was born on March 7th 1930.

And Jack's dad remarried October 1948 .

Winnipeg Free Press, Manitoba, Canada, September 11th 1948

Jack was an only child for both his parents. Bob had no children during his second marriage, and Nellie never remarried or had any other children.

John Robert Graham, known as Jacky/Jack

After finally figuring out the family tree, and following the shaking green leaves I was able to connect with the Graham family in Canada, and get the children of Jack's first marriage into the Graham family tree. This was also when I found out that Jack had not stayed connected to his father's family any more than he had the children of his first marriage. Jack's 1st cousin had thought that he died young, and was shocked when I told him that Jack lived until the age of 81.

I found it a bit strange that everyone thought Jack didn't stay connected to the Graham family after I found this family photo that had Jack and Nellie in the photo, but no Bob.

Jack with his first wife and oldest 4 children

Never knowing quite enough about the past to truly understand the present!







This is why I search - 



Cause ... 





You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!
















***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***





Related Previous Blogs:

Somehow Related Blog Spot,
52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: 2019 Week 2 (Challenge)
Brick Wall - researching Grahams from Holytown, Scotland who immigrated to Canada
https://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/2019/01/brick-wall-researching-grahams-from.html

Somehow Related Blog Spot
52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: 2019 Week 18 (Road Trip)
Robert Graham ~ Scottish Carrier
https://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/2019/05/robert-graham-scottish-carrier.html

Somehow Related Blog Spot
52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: 2019 Week 21 (Military)
Jack (John Robert) Graham ~ Navy Man
http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/2019/05/jack-john-robert-graham-navy-man.html

Somehow Related Blog Spot
52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: 2019 Week 38 (COUSINS)
Tale of Two Cousins ~ Ann(e) Kirk Graham
http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/2019/09/tale-of-two-cousins-anne-kirk-graham.html

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/

If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please

include a link to the specific blog and

credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/

My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.

All rights reserved.

Please & Thank you!

___________________________________________________________

Jack (John Robert) Graham ~ Navy Man

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 21 (Military)

This week's prompt MILITARY gave me lots of family members to choose from. 

My husband's family has a strong United Empire Loyalist (UEL) history including being related to James Secord. James was married to Laura (nee Ingersoll) Secord who was a Battle of 1812 heroine. I haven't yet found a connection for his family to General Lee, but I know it's pending.  There are historical military sites in Ontario that bear his family name. I am a 'base brat' who was born on an air force base, and began school on an army base. My great grandfather died while on duty as a guard at the Kananaskis Prisoner of War Camp during World War 2. He served for England in World War I. My grandfather who's mystery I haven't yet fully solved received a Canadian Military pension that my grandmother received as his widow after his death (in his assumed name). Just 2 weeks apart my X2 great grandfather lost his son & brother in WWI France's BATTLE OF THE SOMME with the 50th Canadian Battalion.2   My step-dad's father was a Belgian Prisoner of War during World War II, and I grew up seeing the swastika stamped release papers on the wall in our dining room. This list could keep going, but I think it's pretty clear I was faced with a challenge on who to feature for Blog Week #21 (MILITARY).

After a lot of debate I decided to feature my grandfather John Robert Graham who was known as Jack/Jacky. I never met Jack because he left the family before I was born. I grew up hearing stories about his grand (and not always responsible) adventures. He didn't stay in contact with his children after the divorce. My mother (his first born child) was named for him ~ Jacki-Roberta Graham. Jack was only 19 years old when my mom was born. Since mom was the oldest she had a lot of memories and attachments to her dad. He briefly returned to the family to walk her down the aisle when she married my dad in 1967. 

John Robert (Jack) Graham with daughter Jacki-Roberta
on her wedding day, 1967

Mom once said to me that she just couldn't understand how he could walk away from his children, and not look back. It made her sad. Jack had an alcohol problem. Jack's mother Nellie remained connected to mom and her siblings & their families. She visited them often, and spoke with them regularly. Nellie's relationship with Jack's family wasn't without issue because she too had issues with alcohol. For mom her father was a missing piece in her life. She and her siblings grew up healthy and happy. Grandma raised her kids as a single mother, supported them working as a telephone operator, did not consume alcohol, and never remarried. 

I seem to have gotten side tracked. Rather than starting over I will go back to the beginning, and introduce Jack.

John Robert Graham who was known as Jack and Jacky was born on the 7th of March 1930 in Winnipeg Manitoba. His parents were Robert Graham who was known as Bob/Bobby, and Nellie May Cannon. Jack passed away August 5th 2011 in Vancouver, British Columbia. My mother and some of her siblings had last seen him in September 1984 when they visited their grandma who was dying. Jack was at the hospital visiting his mother at the time of their arrival. The reunion was not celebratory.

Jack (John Robert) Graham played the accordion, but not the bagpipes likes his father did

Jack (John Robert) Graham and his grandfather Jack (Con)Cannon, Nellie's father 

Jack (John Robert) Graham and his dad, Bob/Bobby (Robert) Graham

With the assistance of Ancestry DNA I have been able to track back to my 5th great grandparents on the Graham line before I hit my brick wall of Peter Graham & Ann(e) Kirk.

Jack in the upper left in his Navy uniform with his mother (Nellie) to his left

Jack was in the Navy, and traveled the world. He served on HMCS (Her Majesty's Canadian Ship) BONAVENTURE. My dad was in Cyprus on peace keeping duties in 1965. He told me that in 1964 BONAVENTURE ferried all the equipment the Army used in Cyprus. There is a good possibility that my grandpa Jack was part of the crew that brought the very equipment my dad was using in Cyprus. 1

Jack (John Robert) Graham in England with the Navy stopped to see
his uncle Douglas Graham & cousins Dougie and Georgie

Jack (John Robert) Graham in uniform

Jack married my grandmother (details private as she is still living) in 1949.

Jack (John Robert) Graham & my grandma, on their wedding day

They went on to have 6 children. My mom remembered that when he was home he was a connected dad. He loved spending time with his wife and children. As the years went by he began spending more and more time away. My aunt shared with me this story that she remembered about her dad:

"Once he and Mom decided they were going to go away camping just the two of them.  They left with the station wagon all packed up, and everyone waved goodbye.  We were staying the weekend at home with Nanny.  A couple of hours later they were back. Dad insisted on coming and getting all of us including Nanny & the dog. That was the end of their alone time.  He was a hands-on Dad and when he was home he loved spending time with his kids.  He was proud of us, and would drag us out of bed to show us off to his friends when they had their house parties."

Jack (John Robert) with my grandma, and their oldest 4

My mother was their oldest, and passed away in 2015. All of her siblings are happy and healthy. 

Jack with my grandma and my mom (their first born child)

Jack with my grandma and my mom (their first born child)

Jack with my mom, Jacki (his oldest child)

Jack was a diver for the Canadian Military, and he took my mom scuba diving when she was small. I heard many times during my growing up about how fun it had been to go deep sea diving with her dad. Jack probably ignited the travel bug that followed my mom through to her adulthood. Jack was stationed in Halifax & Victoria, and the family moved around with him. 

Before (and after) joining the Navy Jack held many different jobs. When my mom was a baby he drove a dump truck for a time. When the family was moving to another residence in Winnipeg, Manitoba they loaded all their furnishings and possessions into the dump truck. Grandma tells this story explaining that my mom while seated on Grandma's knee reached out and pushed the DUMP button while they were stopped at a red light. Jack calmly reversed the dumping action just in time to avoid crisis. Can you imagine all their furniture dumped out right there on Portage Ave in downtown Winnipeg, Manitoba.

After grandma and grandpa Jack separated he went on to remarry and have another family. I believe he lost touch with his Graham relatives as well. When I found the living Grahams the wife of Jack's cousin messaged me that 'sadly Jacky passed young'. I corrected her, and provided a link to Jack's death announcement.

In later years Jack was a bus driver for the City of Vancouver transit system. In my early 20s I lived in Vancouver, and rode the bus. Every time I got on a bus with a male driver I would try to figure out if we shared any similar features. Never was I brave enough to approach any I thought might have been Grandpa Jack. I regret that now.

Jack (John Robert) Graham on his wedding day to his second wife
photo provided to Jack's children by his mother Nellie

I would like to believe that mom got her sense of adventure from the dad that she loved & lost.

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Sources:

1 Canada's Rich History, Retrieved May 24th 2019 from
http://www.sevenyearproject.com/canadas-rich-history-bonaventure.html

2 The 50th Battalion on the frontlines of history, Amundson, and Paulina Liwski, July 30, 2014, Retrieved May 25th 2019 from

https://calgaryjournal.ca/news/2325-the-50th-battalion-on-the-frontlines-of-history.html

Personal family stories, as recorded by the author of this blog

If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please

include a link to the specific blog and

credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/

My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.

All rights reserved.

Please & Thank you!