Caretaking Online Memorials ~ Find a Grave

 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2024: Week 37 (TOMBSTONE)

In May 2023 I wrote about the surprise of finding my grandfather on Find a Grave with minimal information & no connection to my grandma. 

At the time I wrote:
"I do not know who took the photo or who manages grandpa's page. 
At first I was a bit surprised. 
The more I thought about it I realized it's okay. 
Find A Grave is a genealogy source. 
This is a genealogical record of my grandfather."

The whole blog can be found here: Clyde Robertson ~ Find A Grave

In May 2024 I decided that I should be the manager of grandpa's page, and requested transfer. The creator of his page promptly passed it over to me. I have added photos and his story to his memorial page.

I created a page for Grandma, and linked the two of them.

While I was looking around Find a Grave I discovered other relatives whose pages were being managed by non-relatives. 

I requested transfer of 12 memorials, and all but 4 were transferred promptly. 

I have now sent 3 requests (May, August, September) with no success for those 4. 

These 4 memorial are my: stepfather who raised me, my aunt, my 1st cousin, and my grandfather. The person who created these pages is my grandfather's 2nd wife (divorced) very distant cousin. 

The last message notified that I will reach out to Find a Grave for assistance if I don't hear back within a week. 

Find a Grave has a process for when memorials are not transferred to family members who request. 

"If the memorial in question is a relative to you (within our transfer guidelines) and the memorial manager is not family, then they must transfer the memorial.

• Memorials are transferred for relatives with these close relationships: child, spouse/partner, sibling, parent, grandchild, great-grandchild, grandparent, great-grandparent, niece/nephew, great-niece/nephew, aunt/uncle, great-aunt/uncle, or first cousin. This would include adoptive, step and in-law versions of these relationships.

If two members are related within these guidelines and both would like to manage the memorial, the member with the closer relationship should be given management." 1

In the Genealogy world Find a Grave is a bit troubling. 

Anyone can put up memorials for anyone. 

Sometimes they are put up long before family members are ready for the public postings of their loved ones.

Finding my loved ones there was startling. 

Had I never become a part of 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks I may not have decided to collect my family's memorials. 

When I posted my May 2023 blog the organizer of the challenge (Amy Johnson Crowe) suggested I create a memorial for my grandmother and connect the 2. 

It took me a year, but that is exactly what I did. 

Then immediately I began requesting the transfer of family members.

At first I struggled with whether I should I be the manager of these family members.

Then I decided it shouldn't be strangers.

The page is already out there so I can hold space until a closer family member wishes to manage their loved one's memorial page.

Caretaking online memorials for loved one!!! 

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Footnotes:

1  Request to Manage. Find A Grave. Retrieved September 11th 2024 from
https://support.findagrave.com/s/article/Request-to-Manage#transferguidelines

Sources:

Buchnerhouse. Find a Grave. Retrieved September 11th 2024 from
https://www.findagrave.com/user/profile

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/52-ancestors-in-52-weeks/

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