Buried With 1st Wife ~ 2nd Wife's Grave All Alone

 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2025: Week 40 (CEMETERY)

This week Chris and I got to chatting about grave markers. 

We were talking about the practice of putting the surviving spouses names & birthdate on the marker at the time of a spouse's death.

We really were talking about what happens when the surviving spouse remarries, but they are already on the headstone with their prior spouse.

This is an example of what we were talking about.

This is the front of the marker with 1st wife Sarah Ann (nee Louks) Buchner.

She passed away in 1878 (age 35) leaving him with 6 children between the ages of 4 and 15 to raise alone.

Given the marker notes 1st wife we were left curious when the marker was added. 

Would Mark have projected he would remarry at the time she was buried?

For this reason we suspect the marker was added later. 

Two years later 41 year old Mark married 18 year old Barbara Walser (recently arrived from Switzerland).

Barbara and Mark had 9 children. 

On another side of Sarah Ann Louks marker is George - child of the 2nd marriage who died at age 6 & Mark (the husband and father this scenario is about).

On a 3rd side is Eric (10 yrs and 9 days), Frank (4 weeks), Mabel  (18) - all children of the 2nd marriage to Barbara.

I am unsure what was on the 3rd side because it appears as though I didn't take a photo of it. For that reason I am thinking it was blank, but it's possible I just can't find the photo I took.

When we found great grandma Barbara's marker we felt sad for her. 

She was alone - without her husband or her 4 children who died young (of diseases we now have vaccines or treatment for). 

Our conversation left us pondering how both a 1st spouse and 2nd spouse could be included in a scenario such as the one above. 

The conversation ended with us wondering how often this still occurs with today's practices.

BUT this conversation did begin because we heard about this exact scenario playing out right now.

We were not able to find a solution to the dilemma!!! 

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Photos:

Personal

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/52-ancestors-in-52-weeks/

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