Mistaken Identity ~ The Wrong Side of the Law

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2022: Week 47 (WRONG SIDE OF THE LAW)

I moved around a lot while growing up. I was in 5 schools in 3 provinces for grade 3, and 3 schools in 2 provinces for grade 4. Twice I was in one school for 2 grades, but every other year I was lucky if I completed a full year in a school.

All the moving made figuring out my hometown a bit challenging. 

By the time I graduated high school I had lived in: Bagotville (La Baie) [now known as Saguenay] Quebec, Edmonton Alberta, St Albert Alberta, Bayfield Ontario, Dashwood Ontario, Grand Bend Ontario, Kingston Ontario, and Nelson British Columbia. 

My school attendance: 

Kindergarten: Edmonton, Alberta [1 school)]

Grade 1 & 2: St. Albert, Alberta [1 school]

Grade 3: St. Albert, Alberta & Nelson, British Columbia {2 schools} & Dashwood, Ontario & Brucefield, Ontario [5 schools, 3 provinces]

Grade 4: Brucefield, Ontario & Nelson British Columbia [2 schools]

Grade 5 & 6: Nelson British Columbia [1 school]

Grade 7: Nelson British Columbia [1 school]

Grade 8: Grand Bend, Ontario & Nelson, British Columbia (last 8 days & final exams) [2 schools]
Grade 9: Nelson, British Columbia & St. Albert, Alberta [2 schools]

Grade 10: Nelson, British Columbia [1 school]
Grade 11: Kingston, Ontario [1 school]

Grade 12: Nelson, British Columbia [1 school]

By the time I graduated high school I had been in 15 different schools, 22  different classrooms & 18 different homes.

I chose Nelson as my hometown because I lived there the most of any of the other places I lived even if it was spread over many years. 

Starting in Grade 5 I began using my stepfather's last name. It wasn't done legally. I had an affidavit drafted by a local lawyer that said I was using my stepfather's last name as an 'assumed name for non-criminal purposes'. 

Over my teen years I moved back and forth between my parents. When I lived with my dad I used my birth name. When I lived with my mom I used my stepdad's last name. 

Each move resulted in a shift in how I was known in my community, and in many ways how I viewed myself.

When I was 21 I moved to Vancouver to work in the field of Social Services in preparation for entry to that program in the fall. I obtained employment working in a group home with adults with developmental differences. Prior to beginning work I needed a criminal record check. 

In those days we had no internet. I called the Vancouver transit number to ask for the best route to get to the RCMP station at Main & Hastings from where I was living. 

Several bus changes later I arrived in the Downtown East Side of Vancouver. At the time it didn't look quite like it does now, but it certainly was eye opening to this small town 21 year old. 

I navigated around folks that scared me, entered the police station clutching my already completed paperwork, and nervously approached the desk while wide eyed watching criminals being moved around in handcuffs. 

The officer at the desk took my paperwork, entered some stuff in his computer, and asked me to follow him. I was taken into a small room with no windows, and asked to take a seat. About 10 minutes later another officer came in, fingerprinted me, and left. About 20 minutes later I really needed to pee, and discovered the door was locked. 

I realized I was not free to go. 

I then pondered 'did I only think I got away with the mostly almost harmless shenanigans while growing up?'. Was there a record of it somewhere?

After I had been in that locked room for about an hour an officer came in and said 'you are free to go'. I asked him if I had passed the criminal record check. He replied 'the completed form will be sent to your perspective employer'. He said nothing else as he escorted me out of the building. 

I spent the next week wondering if I really had a new job, and was delighted when they called with my start date. 

About 6 months later I needed another criminal record check before the start of the Social Service Worker program. 

Off to the Nelson City Police station I go with my completed form. The officer enters some stuff into the computer, and says 'thank you'. I say 'that's it?'. He says 'yes' looking a bit confused at how confused I looked. 

I told him what happened in Vancouver. He starts to laugh, and tells me 'they thought they had this person' while he held up about 10 pages of computer paper held together by the feed tabs spread across the floor. 

Turns out I share a birth name with a hardcore criminal who already had  a long violent history. She was born exactly 1 year after I was in the neighbouring province. The Nelson officer told me this is the usual alias details criminals will change when trying to hide. He also shared the only reason he didn't finger print me is that Nelson is a small town, and he knew my family. He knew I was not that criminal, but in Vancouver they needed the fingerprints to confirm.

I wonder if it is because of our shared name and similar details that I am frequently selected for extra security screening on international flights. The whole thing may also be confounded by my using 2 last names interchangeably while growing up. 

The day I found myself on the WRONG SIDE OF THE LAW through no fault of my own!!!

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/52-ancestors-in-52-weeks/

If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please

include a link to the specific blog and

credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/

My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.

All rights reserved.

Please & Thank you!

______________________________________________________________

Tombstone, Headstone, or Gravestone ~ Grave Markers

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2022: Week 46 (TOMBSTONES)

This week's prompt tombstone got me to thinking about proper terminology - Tombstone, Headstone, Gravestone? 

I worked in a funeral home as an office administrator for 3 years, and the term Grave Marker is the term I am most comfortable with. 

In researching I found the following definition:
"Which is right in today’s culture? Headstone vs. tombstone vs. gravestone?
So, to sum up, historically, a “tombstone” was the stone placed on top of a stone coffin. A “gravestone” was a stone slab covering a grave. “Headstones” were generally markers denoting a grave. Today, though, all of these terms indicate a marker placed at the head of a grave." 1

I decided to look at our Bramble Bush for a grave marker for an ancestor I wanted to learn more about. 

I found my husband's 3rd great grandparents' grave marker. 

Arthur was born on October 24th (or 23rd) 1850 to Aaron & Lucy (nee Kinsey) Whitesell. I have not yet researched all of  Aaron & Lucy's children - only Arthur. 

At the age of 20 Arthur married 18 year old Henrietta. They were married on October 20th 1871 in Malahide, Ontario, Canada. 

The marriage record does not list religion for either even though the other 2 couples on the record include their religion. 

The record indicates W.L. Brown married them.
Find A Grave notes Walter Livingston Brown as a Quaker Reverend. 2

BUT I found this record:
"The Methodist Episcopal congregation had its beginnings in Copenhagen in the 1860's when services were held above a general store, until 1870.  A quarter acre of land in lot 10, concession 2 was deeded by Walter Livingston Brown to the Trustees of the Methodist Episcopal Church on Aug. 26,  1871, and a frame church was built."  3

Less than 2 months before marrying X3 great grandparents W.L. Brown donated land to Methodist Church. 

There is a very good chance that Aaron & Henrietta were married in the Methodist Church. 

I have only found records for 4 children. Their son George is my husband's X2 great grandfather. 

X2 great grandfather,  George Aaron Whitesell was born on December 15th 1874. At the age of 25 George married 18 year old Rosa Lulu Meharg. They were married on September 26th 1900. 

My husband descends via their third born child, Verna, who married into the Buchner family.

I know there are many issues with Find-A-Grave, but being able to see the grave markers of ancestors when you are too far away to visit in real life is a gift. 

Last week I became a Find-A-Grave member with the plans to visit my local cemeteries to fulfill current photo requests. 

Giving back to the Genealogy community that has offered this Bramble Bush so much!!!

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Sources:

1  Headstone vs. Tombstone vs. Gravestone. Monument Solutions, LLC. Originally published May 13th 2021. Retrieved November 20th 2022 from
https://www.monumentsolutionsllc.com/headstone-vs-tombstone-vs-gravestone/

2  Rev Walter Livingston Brown. Find A Grave. Retrieved November 20th 2022 from https://www.findagrave.com/memorial/106637413/brown

3   Churches in Malahide / Aylmer. Places of Worship Records Inventory Project. Elgin County Malahide Township & Town of Aylmer. Originally published 2006. Retrieved November 20th 2022 from 
https://ogs.on.ca/elgin_google/sites.google.com/site/elginbranchogs/Home/places-of-worship/malahide-aylmer.html

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/52-ancestors-in-52-weeks/

If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please

include a link to the specific blog and

credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/

My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.

All rights reserved.

Please & Thank you!

______________________________________________________________

Is It a Ghost Story? OR ~ How To Kill an Imaginary Friend

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2022: Week 45 (GHOST STORY)

When we were expecting child #2 we lived in a small 3 bedroom mobile home on a residential lot in Christina Lake, British Columbia. We were part of the year round residents in a recreation community. After the long weekend in September the town rolled up it's sidewalks and closed up most businesses. 

The local pub, Time & Place, had a restaurant on the one side that closed once summer was over. The pub remained open, but the restaurant closed. With small children we couldn't go into the pub. The owners were awesome, and allowed us to use the restaurant space even though it was closed. We submitted our own orders to the kitchen, and one of us adults went into the bar to obtain our beverages. We were the best customers - we took care of ourselves, cleaned up after ourselves, and tipped the staff. 

One time we had been out fishing before stopping for dinner. 

On a Fishing Trip around the same time

When our oldest told the owner that he had caught a fish, and wondered if she wanted to see it she asked if it was cleaned. He said that his dad had cleaned it. She told him to go get the fish. When it arrived she asked if he wanted it for dinner, and took him into the kitchen to cook it. The owners were amazing people. Living in a small recreational community in the off season had it's benefits.

I have so many fond memories of life in Christina Lake. 

What exactly does this have to do with ghosts?

Well......

We were living in a manufactured home that was probably no more than 20 years old. 

You don't expect to find ghosts there. 

Our oldest was 3 when he shared a creepy story one morning. He said the lady visited him again the night before. This was the first time we had heard about this lady visiting in the night, and yet he used the word again. This freaked us out a bit, but rather than panic we decided to get curious.

We asked him for more information. 

He said she had long white hair, and wore a long white dress. One of us asked how often she visits. He wasn't able to specify exactly how many times - just saying he had seen her many times before. One of us asked if she was scary. He said she was not. We asked him to please let us know if that ever changed. He never shared that she scared him. We frequently heard about the lady until we moved into Grand Forks a year and a bit later. 

Once we left that home in Christina Lake we never heard about the lady in the long white dress again.

These photos were taken at the manufactured home in Christina Lake.

I wasn't sure if he had an actual ghost or an imaginary friend. 

"If you would never tell your child their imaginary friend isn’t real, or that they’re just imagining things or even lying, you should treat an encounter with a so-called ghost the same way. Which presents a strange question: How should you react if your little one reports a visit from the other side?

Most important, do not flip out. “A lot of parents get worried about imaginary companions and strange experiences,” Fernyhough says. “Unless there’s real distress, do not worry.” To know whether there’s real distress, just ask the child." " 1

My background in child development had been our guide when this first presented. We didn't freak out - we got curious. 

She sounded like every child's perfect grandma. 

Our children didn't have grandmother's nearby for the majority of their growing up. 

Maybe he really wanted a hands-on grandma and created one. 

OR maybe there really were ghosts in that closet of the almost new manufactured home.

Thinking about imaginary friends reminded me of my bestie's daughter, Kate's, imaginary friend Jodie. 

This is the story from my bestie:

"Jodie was Kate's imaginary friend. I think she was about 6 when she got her. Kate talked about her all the time. Initially I was concerned, but after some research I realized it was normal for some kids and not to worry. Worry quickly gave way to annoyance. One morning I piled all the kids into the minivan to take them to school. Always frenzied, I put the van in reverse & started backing out onto the street. Kate lets out a blood curdling scream from the back seat. I slammed on the brakes so hard. I whipped around in my seat expecting to see Kate's fingers slammed in the door or something. She's bawling uncontrollably. I asked her what was wrong, and she wails 'you just ran over Jodie, and now she is dead!!! '. I honestly could have choked her."

This is the story from Kate:

"I had an imaginary friend named Jodie. Mom and dad used to set a place at the meal times for her. We played together doing everything. One day we were heading out of the house with all the kids, and mom went to back out of the driveway. I screamed at the top of my lungs, and she slammed on her brakes. I cried that she ran over Jodie. Mom was freaking out saying "I ran over what?'. I said 'Jodie'. I thought my mom was going to kill me. She got back in the car, and said 'good' then continued reversing."

The two stories are almost identical.

This is the story of how Jodie came to be, and how she came to leave. 

"There’s no way to tell how long a made-up friend will last. Your child will stop playing with them when they’re ready. Many children keep imaginary friends around for several months, but they could play an important role in your child’s life for a few years."  2 

Right from the first time I heard this story I was intrigued by the creative way Kate ended her relationship with imaginary friend Jodie.

She died.

It was mom's fault. 

The question remains - Imaginary Friend OR a Ghost?

Sometimes there is no concrete answer!!!

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Footnotes:

1 Counter, Rosemary. Why do so many kids ‘see ghosts’? We asked some psychologists. Washington Post. Originally published October 28th 2019. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/10/28/why-do-so-many-kids-see-ghosts-we-asked-some-psychologists/

2 Hamilton, Victoria. How Long Do Imaginary Friends Last? Children's Imaginary Friends: What to Know. WebMD. Originally published December 2, 2021. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from 
https://www.webmd.com/children/childrens-imaginary-friends-what-to-know#091e9c5e822f4846-1-3

Sources:

Counter, Rosemary. Why do so many kids ‘see ghosts’? We asked some psychologists. Washington Post. Originally published October 28th 2019. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/10/28/why-do-so-many-kids-see-ghosts-we-asked-some-psychologists/

Hamilton, Victoria. Children's Imaginary Friends: What to Know. WebMD. Originally published December 2, 2021. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from https://www.webmd.com/children/childrens-imaginary-friends-what-to-know#091e9c5e822f4846-1-3

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/52-ancestors-in-52-weeks/

If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please

include a link to the specific blog and

credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/

My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.

All rights reserved.

Please & Thank you!

______________________________________________________________

Face in Shadows ~ Remembering Ron Buchner

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2022: Week 44 (SHADOWS)

This photo of my father-in-law is one of my favourite photos of him.

The shadows on his face are why I decided to focus on my husband's father, Ronald Clare Buchner, this week. 

This is the photo included with his obituary when he passed away February 6th 2021. Link to Ron's obituary in the sources below.

My first hug with Ron left no doubt they were related - my nose recognized the pheromones. 

This was immediately after hearing the strong similarities in their voices. 

Long before DNA confirmed it - these two were definitely father and son. 

Father & Son

This photo was taken during the week of that first time I met Ron. 

Over the past few weeks I received the photos below from Chris' stepsister, Genine. 

It was lovely to see these photos of Ron over the years - most of which I had never seen before.

More photos in no particular order:

Remembering a GREAT man - Ron!!!

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Sources:

BUCHNER, Ronald Obituary. Norfolk & Tillsonburg News.  Originally published February 18th 2021. Retrieved November 4th 2022 from 
https://norfolkandtillsonburgnews.remembering.ca/obituary/ronald-buchner-1081642052

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/52-ancestors-in-52-weeks/

If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please

include a link to the specific blog and

credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/

My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.

All rights reserved.

Please & Thank you!

______________________________________________________________