Is It a Ghost Story? OR ~ How To Kill an Imaginary Friend

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2022: Week 45 (GHOST STORY)

When we were expecting child #2 we lived in a small 3 bedroom mobile home on a residential lot in Christina Lake, British Columbia. We were part of the year round residents in a recreation community. After the long weekend in September the town rolled up it's sidewalks and closed up most businesses. 

The local pub, Time & Place, had a restaurant on the one side that closed once summer was over. The pub remained open, but the restaurant closed. With small children we couldn't go into the pub. The owners were awesome, and allowed us to use the restaurant space even though it was closed. We submitted our own orders to the kitchen, and one of us adults went into the bar to obtain our beverages. We were the best customers - we took care of ourselves, cleaned up after ourselves, and tipped the staff. 

One time we had been out fishing before stopping for dinner. 

On a Fishing Trip around the same time

When our oldest told the owner that he had caught a fish, and wondered if she wanted to see it she asked if it was cleaned. He said that his dad had cleaned it. She told him to go get the fish. When it arrived she asked if he wanted it for dinner, and took him into the kitchen to cook it. The owners were amazing people. Living in a small recreational community in the off season had it's benefits.

I have so many fond memories of life in Christina Lake. 

What exactly does this have to do with ghosts?

Well......

We were living in a manufactured home that was probably no more than 20 years old. 

You don't expect to find ghosts there. 

Our oldest was 3 when he shared a creepy story one morning. He said the lady visited him again the night before. This was the first time we had heard about this lady visiting in the night, and yet he used the word again. This freaked us out a bit, but rather than panic we decided to get curious.

We asked him for more information. 

He said she had long white hair, and wore a long white dress. One of us asked how often she visits. He wasn't able to specify exactly how many times - just saying he had seen her many times before. One of us asked if she was scary. He said she was not. We asked him to please let us know if that ever changed. He never shared that she scared him. We frequently heard about the lady until we moved into Grand Forks a year and a bit later. 

Once we left that home in Christina Lake we never heard about the lady in the long white dress again.

These photos were taken at the manufactured home in Christina Lake.

I wasn't sure if he had an actual ghost or an imaginary friend. 

"If you would never tell your child their imaginary friend isn’t real, or that they’re just imagining things or even lying, you should treat an encounter with a so-called ghost the same way. Which presents a strange question: How should you react if your little one reports a visit from the other side?

Most important, do not flip out. “A lot of parents get worried about imaginary companions and strange experiences,” Fernyhough says. “Unless there’s real distress, do not worry.” To know whether there’s real distress, just ask the child." " 1

My background in child development had been our guide when this first presented. We didn't freak out - we got curious. 

She sounded like every child's perfect grandma. 

Our children didn't have grandmother's nearby for the majority of their growing up. 

Maybe he really wanted a hands-on grandma and created one. 

OR maybe there really were ghosts in that closet of the almost new manufactured home.

Thinking about imaginary friends reminded me of my bestie's daughter, Kate's, imaginary friend Jodie. 

This is the story from my bestie:

"Jodie was Kate's imaginary friend. I think she was about 6 when she got her. Kate talked about her all the time. Initially I was concerned, but after some research I realized it was normal for some kids and not to worry. Worry quickly gave way to annoyance. One morning I piled all the kids into the minivan to take them to school. Always frenzied, I put the van in reverse & started backing out onto the street. Kate lets out a blood curdling scream from the back seat. I slammed on the brakes so hard. I whipped around in my seat expecting to see Kate's fingers slammed in the door or something. She's bawling uncontrollably. I asked her what was wrong, and she wails 'you just ran over Jodie, and now she is dead!!! '. I honestly could have choked her."

This is the story from Kate:

"I had an imaginary friend named Jodie. Mom and dad used to set a place at the meal times for her. We played together doing everything. One day we were heading out of the house with all the kids, and mom went to back out of the driveway. I screamed at the top of my lungs, and she slammed on her brakes. I cried that she ran over Jodie. Mom was freaking out saying "I ran over what?'. I said 'Jodie'. I thought my mom was going to kill me. She got back in the car, and said 'good' then continued reversing."

The two stories are almost identical.

This is the story of how Jodie came to be, and how she came to leave. 

"There’s no way to tell how long a made-up friend will last. Your child will stop playing with them when they’re ready. Many children keep imaginary friends around for several months, but they could play an important role in your child’s life for a few years."  2 

Right from the first time I heard this story I was intrigued by the creative way Kate ended her relationship with imaginary friend Jodie.

She died.

It was mom's fault. 

The question remains - Imaginary Friend OR a Ghost?

Sometimes there is no concrete answer!!!

This is why I search - 

Cause ... 

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***

Footnotes:

1 Counter, Rosemary. Why do so many kids ‘see ghosts’? We asked some psychologists. Washington Post. Originally published October 28th 2019. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/10/28/why-do-so-many-kids-see-ghosts-we-asked-some-psychologists/

2 Hamilton, Victoria. How Long Do Imaginary Friends Last? Children's Imaginary Friends: What to Know. WebMD. Originally published December 2, 2021. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from 
https://www.webmd.com/children/childrens-imaginary-friends-what-to-know#091e9c5e822f4846-1-3

Sources:

Counter, Rosemary. Why do so many kids ‘see ghosts’? We asked some psychologists. Washington Post. Originally published October 28th 2019. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from 
https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2019/10/28/why-do-so-many-kids-see-ghosts-we-asked-some-psychologists/

Hamilton, Victoria. Children's Imaginary Friends: What to Know. WebMD. Originally published December 2, 2021. Retrieved November 9th 2022 from https://www.webmd.com/children/childrens-imaginary-friends-what-to-know#091e9c5e822f4846-1-3

Links:

Amy Johnson Crow, 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks Challenge
https://www.amyjohnsoncrow.com/52-ancestors-in-52-weeks/

If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please

include a link to the specific blog and

credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/

My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.

All rights reserved.

Please & Thank you!

______________________________________________________________