This is my space to share my quest to collect as many broken branches as I can in my fractured family tree which resembles a bramble bush more then a proper tree. As I go forward in this blogging journey I hope to share how I have searched far & wide for family - with no regard for where they come from or if I should really want them.
You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Nature VS Nurture ~ My 2 Dads (part 2 of 2)

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 20 (Nature)


This is part two of a two part series looking at NATURE VS NURTURE.  I worked in the field of social services, and studied Psychology. The topic of genetics vs learned has always fascinated me. Through no fault of my own I grew up with two fathers. Last week I focused on nurture - the stepfather who chose to be my dad. This week I am focusing on my birth father. Because my dad is still alive I won't be sharing in as much detail as I did in last week's blog. 

My parents separated when I was 8 years old, and I went from seeing a lot of my dad to only seeing him infrequently. My mom moved us to another province, and my dad was in the military so getting time off to visit with us was very difficult. Prior to the divorce dad sometimes went away for extended periods with the military, but when he was not away he was a hands-on dad. After a few years of only seeing dad for a month in the summer, and a week at Easter I moved in with him when I was a teenager, but moved back in with my mom and stepdad. In what became a 'parent hopping' situation I spent a school year with each parent until I graduated high school and moved out on my own. Dad and I are still close.


Dad, my brother, and I


My favourite memory was when I was 6 years old dad and I snuck out to see the Ice Capades. We had to sneak out because it was a special outing for me. Dad explained that my little brother was too little to go so we had to keep it a secret so he wouldn't be upset. I still remember being in awe as I watched Karen Magnussen skating. Dad bought me a mini pair of skates that attached to a pencil that I took to school the next day. I loved the outing and the souvenir. I was daddy's girl. 


Dad, my brother, and I 



I remember my mom telling me I was just like my dad, and I remember my dad telling me I was just like my mom. DNA doesn't lie. I am a blend of my mother and father in looks, temperament, and personality. My voice is similar enough to my cousin on my dad's side to have tricked her sister on the phone one day. I am the exact same height as my dad's mother was. I look quite a bit like my dad's paternal grandmother (now that I am getting older) which is very surprising since my dad didn't know she existed until I started searching. Nature/Biology is truly interesting when looking at what is inborn. 



Dad's paternal grandparents ~ Alexander & Mary (nee Maximiw) Pellack
Dad and I look quite a bit like his grandmother


Even though my dad wasn't there consistently for day to day I still share many of his mannerisms and traits. Some may have been learned from the years I lived with him, but many I was born with. My dad's early report card said he held his pencil too tight. One of my early report cards mentioned I held my pencil too tight. Did Dad teach me to hold my pencil?  Or do we naturally have a tight pencil grip? I still have a callus from those early years of pencil holding. We also share food preferences. We both love soup, sandwiches, chocolate, lemon meringue pie, and traditional foods. I have developed a taste for spicy and ethnic foods as an adult, but it was definitely a learned like. I have the exact same shaped eyes as dad, but my colour is the same shade as his sister's (a light green/blue colour). The colour is oddly dominant since my husband has brown eyes, and both our sons have the same shade as I do. It appears as though the light green blue shade is a common eye colour in the Ukrainian community. There is no one is my mother's side of the family with the same colour I have. 

 

Dad, my brother, and I 

When considering NATURE VS NURTURE it is often difficult to tease apart what is biology and what is environment.




This is why I search - 

Cause ... 








You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!



***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***



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2 comments:

  1. Sounds like you're a lot like your Dad. Great post.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. I am definitely a lot like dad and his family

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