52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks: Week 16 (Out Of Place)
This week's prompt OUT OF PLACE left me a smidge stumped. I really do have quite a few black sheep in my tree so really there is a lot out of place. What is actually out of place in my tree are the details that fit nicely. I thought about writing about one of my ancestors that was super easy to research, but then changed my mind. What would be more out of place in my family tree than the canine family member who passed away last week.
January 2015 Siska arrived to our home along with my mother who was fighting terminal cancer. When my mother passed away in March of 2015 Siska continued living with us. She missed mom. She was already attached to us because we had been her sitters whenever mom went away. She and our dog were best friends. Siska stayed close to Tori all the time. She would sit on her bigger friend. They slept together. They played hard.
Siska was happy, but still missed mom. For many months after mom died Siska would greet us at the door upon arriving home, and wait. She was expecting mom to walk through that door behind whoever had just arrived home. It was heartbreaking. Siska was special, and like many we love she was also annoying at times.
She even made friends with the cats.
For a hunting dog she was gentle with other critters
In remembering Siska I will go back to the beginning of her story with our family. In 2010 my mom lost her dog Ruby shortly after losing my step dad who had been my dad from the age of 8. Mom felt that getting another dog was a bad idea because she lived alone. It wasn't long before she realized living alone in a rural type area didn't feel safe so she asked me to find her a dog. She said that she was looking for a purebred fox terrier because Ruby had been Jack Russell/Fox Terrier, and she thought the traits she had really loved of Ruby were the Fox Terrier. She said she wanted the dog to be: fox terrier, female, short haired, about 3, fixed, and affordable. I replied that she couldn't just give me a shopping list and expect me to produce a dog for her. She said it had worked in the past when I found her 2 other dogs. I wasn't so confident it would work this time. I was pretty sure that her previous shopping lists hadn't been this detailed.
A few days later I sat at my computer, and entered her shopping list along with my hometown in a search bar. I was stunned when an ad appeared on our local for sale site: female - check, 3 years - check, fixed - check, purebred fox terrier - check (no papers), short hair - check (photo), affordable - uh oh (too much). I sent a message off to the seller thinking we could negotiate, and I could pay for part as her upcoming birthday present. After emailing back and forth for about a day I finally arranged to meet the dog. When the seller gave me her address I was shocked to discover that this dog was our neighbour. She lived in a house within visual distance of our front porch. The house's maintenance was pretty rough. We had heard the dog being yelled at, seen it dragged around on it's leash, heard it's high pitch barking without being answered. This was a dog that didn't appear to be very well behaved, but after watching Cesar Millan we knew the problem lied with the owners. She was only 3 years old, and could be trained. I messaged mom that I found her shopping list dog, and the dog needed her more than she needed it. Mom asked how much. I told her that we weren't talking about that since it was her birthday and Christmas present for the next 2 years. She asked if I had even tried negotiating. Mom knew me very well. If there was a deal to be had she would always make it, but that has never been my talent. I told her we were worried that we would lose the sale if we tried, and this dog really needed saving. When we picked her up the seller told us she was super easy to feed because she only ate people food, and would need her shots because she hasn't had any while living with the seller.
Challenge #1 for mom was getting her to eat dog food (mix it with treats). Challenge #2 was getting her to stop peeing in the house (install doggy door). Challenge #3 was to get her to stop barking at things mom left in the wrong place (put broom away after use). Challenge #4 was getting her to not bark at the bush in the yard in the middle of the night (lock doggy door at night & clean up pee). Challenge #5 was to get her to stop barking at loud noises (stop using dishwasher, give away hand mixer, don't use microwave).
Mom took Siska to the vet for a check up and shots and was told that the dog was closer to 7 years old & he saw evidence that she had been used as a breeding dog. The paperwork that arrived with her now made sense. It had looked like the seller had her almost 2 years, and the previous owner had her about 2 years after getting her from a breeder in a neighbouring town. It looked like mom's 3 year old dog aged 4 extra years overnight. Teaching an old dog new tricks made working on her behaviour more challenging. I can't remember what her original name was. Mom renamed her Siska after my Belgian grandma who called all the critters and us grandkids this pet name. Siska and mom were inseparable. Mom tucked that dog under her arm, and took her everywhere.
By the time mom and Siska arrived with us the only behaviour we had to work on was my unwillingness to give up my dishwasher, microwave, and hand mixer. In the years after mom passed away Siska learned to ignore the dishwasher and microwave. The handmixer she would pace nervously, but not get too excited. When we first started putting her on a leash we attached her halter to Tori who is very well behaved on leash. Tori taught Siska how to walk respectfully on a leash. She also taught Siska how to ring the bells at the back door to alert someone she needed to go out. For the first while this novelty had us considering the removal of the bells, and just cleaning up pee. Those bells were ringing non-stop until the novelty finally wore off, and she used them when she truly had need. Without a doggy door she often had accidents in the house. We live in an urban area, and the doggy door would need to be too big for both dogs to use it. This was one of those annoying things we learned to live with.
Last summer my grandma was sick, and I took Siska with me to look after Grandma. Mom had often taken Siska with her to stay overnight with Grandma. Maybe Siska would be good for Grandma's recovery. When we arrived to Grandma's Independent facility Siska remembered where she was going. She marched in leading me to where we needed to go. She strutted like a rock star. Whenever we saw any of the seniors who lived in the building she would stop, and await their greeting and admiration. When someone walked by without greeting her you could almost hear her scorn that they were unaware of the famous Siska. In that week Siska worked miracles. Grandma would sit with her, and pet her. You could almost see Grandma getting better with every minute she and Siska were together. The healing power of dogs is well known. For Grandma it was a tie to her precious daughter who had died. It was quite beautiful to see them together. When I was thanked for all I had done for grandma I let them know that I was simply Siska's wheels she was the true star of the moment.
If I was being honest I would say that I simply did what mom needed me to do. One evening talking to my cousin I had been thinking that it was too bad that Grandma was sick, but it wasn't my responsibility since I'm a grandchild and not the child. That night I woke up in the middle of the night knowing that I had to go to look after Grandma and take the dog. I'm pretty sure the message I received came right from my mom who was directing me to go in her place to help out her siblings who were exhausted and could use a break. Mom was the oldest, and often stayed overnight with Grandma. She would have been there taking her turn. The timing was all wrong for me to go. There is no way I would have come up with the decision to take the dog on my own. There was also no way I would ignore my mother's direction to go.
Siska was a great traveler, but a demanding travel companion. Wandering around a quiet neighbourhood in the middle of the night so she wouldn't pee in Grandma's apartment was not my idea of a good nighttime routine. That week was not only healing for Grandma, but it was for me as well. I hadn't been back to my home town since mom died, and that trip I discovered you can go home.
Before mom died she asked me to send my grandma (her mom) a tall stack of word searches at Christmas every year because Siska always gave them to Grandma for Christmas. Mom died in March. In May I would have my first Mother's day without mom when I realized grandma was having her first Mother's Day without her daughter. In a bubble envelope I sent a thinking of you card with a pawprint sticker in it and no other writing along with a few word search books and a sweet treat. That became the tradition for us. Rather than sending a large stack at Christmas Siska sent a bubble envelope at Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, mom's birthday, Grandma's birthday, and Christmas. Every single one of those packages came with no human writing besides the addressing on the envelope. They were from the dog, and had dog footprint stickers. Certain holidays and celebrations were times I really missed my mom. Although they were gifts for Grandma they were really my way of honouring my mom. They were part of my grief healing process.
As Siska got older she was not able to keep up on the long walks Tori craved so we found a solution.
The hardest part about losing Siska was that she was my last tangible connection to my mom. There must have been quite a puppy celebration as Siska crossed over the rainbow bridge to find mom and meet Dad & Ruby and all the other furry friends that came before her.
Remembering those we have lost.
This is why I search -
Cause ...
You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family you know!
***Any errors are my own. Please send me any updates or corrections via the comments at the bottom of this blog post***
Photos
Personal
If you reference or use my blog posts in any way please
include a link to the specific blog and
credit http://somehowrelated.blogspot.com/
My blogs are ©Deborah Buchner, 2014 forward.
All rights reserved.
Please & Thank you!
